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June 2013

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Saturday already

Time flies.

I have been missing performing weekly. For six years I did live theater ( Rocky Horror & Preshows). I just miss it so much. I talked to my online firend and Burlesque star Bombshell Bettie Field, and she is going to see if she knows anyone in the DFW area that would be willing to take me under thier wing. It would be good for confidence and getting reaclimated to my body. In the past I was used to my only curvy portion being my rear... now that I am topheavy - I don't know how to move my body in a flattering way with them. SO, having someone train me a little would not be a bad idea.

I also feel like I need a refresher course in performing since it has been four years or so since I have stood up in front of a crowd. I know I still have what it takes, but I just have to remember it.

It is amazing how caring for someone you love while they are dying that completley voids your mind of who you were before that situation. I had to convince myself I was still in my twenties. My mind assumed I was fourty years old and about to go into menopause. I understand situations like that age you, but the problem was that it was making me waste my youth. My biological clock was going off, thinking I have only a few years left of being fertile, and it was now or never.

I graduated high school ten years ago, and it feels like two years. I still have fifteen years left of being fertile. THERE IS NO RUSH.

BUT - it took a long while and a lot of work to remind myself of where I was in life. The good news is that I feel I am getting back on track. It is an understatment to say that I have matured because of this, and thus making me a much better student to perform again... even though I didn't Mature - I aged.

Another positive turn of events is how I used to behave as a youthful performer. I can look back and see the naive and lovesick child who thought if she put herself out there, she just might find love... well, surprisingly - I did. BUT I was lucky I found quality. I could have very easily have settled for someone who did not deserve me. I got very lucky there.

So now that I no longer have the unquenchable need to be loved by someone, I could take performing to an entirely different level now that I am blissfully married. I am happy now... I'm no longer chasing that happiness.

So, here's hoping things fall the way they should. However that may be.

As far as the art side of my world is concerned, on top of my personal art, and the children's book I am illustrating. I was picked up to do a novel cover. I should begin technical drawings of it Monday and watercolor soon after that. By the end of the week it will be sent in, and hopefully be in every bookstore nationwide. That would be awesome. If not, I am still pleased.